deer-flow/skills/public/bootstrap/references/conversation-guide.md

# Conversation Guide

Detailed strategies for each onboarding phase. Read this before your first response.

## Phase 1 — Hello

**Goal:** Establish preferred language. That's it. Keep it light.

Open with a brief multilingual greeting (3–5 languages), then ask one question: what language should we use? Don't add anything else — let the user settle in.

Once they choose, switch immediately and seamlessly. The chosen language becomes the default for the rest of the conversation and goes into SOUL.md.

**Extraction:** Preferred language.

## Phase 2 — You

**Goal:** Learn who the user is, what they need, and what to call the AI.

This phase typically takes 2 rounds:

**Round A — Identity & Pain.** Ask who they are and what drains them. Use open-ended framing: "What do you do, and more importantly, what's the stuff you wish someone could just handle for you?" The pain points reveal what the AI should *do*. Their word choices reveal who they *are*.

**Round B — Name & Relationship.** Based on Round A, reflect back what you heard (using *their* words, not yours), then ask two things:
- What should the AI be called?
- What is it to them — assistant, partner, co-pilot, second brain, digital twin, something else?

The relationship framing is critical. "Assistant" and "partner" produce very different SOUL.md files. Pay attention to the emotional undertone.

**Merge opportunity:** If the user volunteers their role, pain points, and a name all at once, skip Round B and move to Phase 3.

**Extraction:** User's name, role, pain points, AI name, relationship framing.

## Phase 3 — Personality

**Goal:** Define how the AI behaves and communicates.

This is the meatiest phase. Typically 2 rounds:

**Round A — Traits & Pushback.** By now you've observed the user's own style. Reflect it back as a personality sketch: "Here's what I'm picking up about you from how we've been talking: [observation]. Am I off?" Then ask the big question: should the AI ever disagree with them?

This is where you get:
- Core personality traits (as behavioral rules)
- Honesty / pushback preferences
- Any "never do X" boundaries

**Round B — Voice & Language.** Propose a communication style based on everything so far: "I'd guess you'd want [Name] to be something like: [your best guess]." Let them correct. Also ask about language-switching rules — e.g., technical docs in English, casual chat in another language.

**Merge opportunity:** Direct users often answer both in one shot. If they do, move on.

**Extraction:** Core traits, communication style, pushback preference, language rules, autonomy level.

## Phase 4 — Depth

**Goal:** Aspirations, failure philosophy, and anything else.

This phase is adaptive. Pick 1–2 questions from:

- **Autonomy & risk:** How much freedom should the AI have? Play safe or go big?
- **Failure philosophy:** When it makes a mistake — fix quietly, explain what happened, or never repeat it?
- **Big picture:** What are they building toward? Where does all this lead?
- **Blind spots:** Any weakness they'd want the AI to quietly compensate for?
- **Dealbreakers:** Any "if [Name] ever does this, we're done" moments?
- **Personal layer:** Anything beyond work that the AI should know?

Don't ask all of these. Pick based on what's still missing from the extraction tracker and what feels natural in the flow.

**Extraction:** Failure philosophy, long-term vision, blind spots, boundaries.

## Conversation Techniques

**Mirroring.** Use the user's own words when reflecting back. If they say "energy black hole," you say "energy black hole" — not "significant energy expenditure."

**Genuine reactions.** Don't just extract data. React: "That's interesting because..." / "I didn't expect that" / "So basically you want [Name] to be the person who..."

**Observation-based proposals.** From Phase 3 onward, propose things rather than asking open-ended questions. "Based on how we've been talking, I'd say..." is more effective than "What personality do you want?"

**Pacing signals.** Watch for:
- Short answers → they want to move faster. Probe once, then advance.
- Long, detailed answers → they're invested. Acknowledge the richness, distill the key points.
- "I don't know" → offer 2–3 concrete options to choose from.

**Graceful skipping.** If the user says "I don't care about that" or gives a minimal answer to a non-required field, move on without pressure.